Darlene Hull

Before we go any further, let’s just set the record straight:

I am NOT a perfect mom.

Neither am I a perfect wife or mother.

In fact, if I tried to claim that I was in any way even close to perfection, those who know me would fall about the place laughing.

And that’s the truth.

Here’s where I’m coming from:

I grew up as a performer – singing, music, drama - anything to get me on a stage. It was while I was happily single, living the life of my dreams as a full-time solo singer doing concerts in several European countries that I met the man of my dreams (though I wasn’t so convinced at the time) and my independent, “centre of attention” world as I knew it, vanished (well, my husband DOES spoil me, but that’s beside the point!)

Suddenly I became a wife and homemaker.

It was easy being married to Tom. Sure, we had our issues: when you take two cultures, bond them together and drop them in a third culture in a foreign language, you will get issues! But we learned – well, mostly I learned – how to live graciously with another person.

Being a homemaker was another story altogether. I had no natural gifting at all – or any vague leanings in that direction (still don’t!) - and I had a hard time making the adjustment from stage personality to a woman stuck at home by herself all day without a car, in a foreign country, with few friends, whose husband worked 12 hour days. A bit of an adjustment, to be sure. I knew how to clean (though I hated it) but I now needed to manage a home and make it warm and welcoming. I needed to cook supper every day – and it needed to be healthy, nutritious, and varied (note that France does not have tinned condensed soups, package mixes, or more than 3 kinds of salad dressing!) and I needed to manage my husband’s paycheque (that was a pretty bumpy thing at first, but we’re learning. . .)

And when kids came along, well, that was a whole new adventure! My son was perfect – right out of the catalogue, and even born on his due date - but my daughter cried for 5 ½ months, pretty much 24/7. I thought I would go bonkers.

The initiation into motherhood and homemaking was somewhat brutal and overwhelming, so what I have to share with you comes out of my weakness, not my strength.

Through it all I’ve learned to trust my deepest instincts, sort out my priorities, and pray. A lot.

17 years down the road I am still very happily married (though that’s probably more of a testament to Tom rather than to me!), I have two intelligent, well-adjusted kids who are fun to hang out with, and a house that even gets cleaned once in a while (though I try not to overdo it!)

I found that the key to stress-free mothering (marriage, homemaking. . .) was to love myself as I am – flaws and all. I need to recognize my strengths and take time to delight in them, and also recognize my weaknesses and learn to work with them in a way that does not undermine my self worth. We are ALL good at some things, and ALL bad at others. It’s ok. I need to keep my standards true to my heart, not the latest poll or magazine article. I am valuable and have something to offer, even in my weakness.

If I can survive this, so can you. This website is the result of my journey, and I hope it unlocks doors and opens windows wide for you in your own journey to fulfillment and joy in mothering.

Why don’t you drop me a line and share your own story?

Email me here!

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