Defrazzle Your Dreams

 

For you to be successful, sacrifices must be made.
It's better that they are made by others
but failing that, you'll have to make them yourself.

~Rita Mae Brown

In a hurry? Jump right to the part you need:

• Quick Resources
• Little Tips
• Middle Tips
• "Oh My Goodness I Need Serious Help!" Tips

I know there are those days when every mother wonders if life will ever be different. If there will ever come a day when laundry isn't taking up the vast majority of her time, and when she'll have time to pursue her own dreams.

As one who's been there, I can offer you hope. I constantly remind myself that “This, too, shall pass” and try and live in the season I'm in. When my kids were small and our home was fairly isolated in the French Alps, I thought I'd go crazy. I learned to choose to treasure the time I had with my little ones (two kids under 3) and we did lots of things together. I had no errands, classes, activities, or anything else, as I didn't have a car. None of my friends wanted to risk the little mountain road up to my house, so I had few visitors. - though I did have a couple of students who loved to come up for a whole day and just “hang out” with us during some of our time up there - they saved my life!

My kids and I would start the day with housework, then take a long, slow walk through the hills (my then 14 month old easily walked a mile a day) gathering nuts, collecting leaves, playing with the lizards on the bridge, splashing in the water in the mountain- spring-fed horse trough, etc. We'd come home for lunch, have a nap, go walk again, play a game, watch a movie, and then do supper. A very slow, quiet day. It was wonderful for all of us - though often hard for me to do!

You see, I am a go-getter; a do-er; a “list person” with goals and dreams. There were days when that lifestyle drove me nuts. I survived it by focusing on what I had (wonderful time with my kids) rather than what I didn't have. I also knew that I would one day have more free time.

Now my kids are older, and thankfully, very independent. I guess I raised them that way, as I'm not much of a nurturer, nor am I a very “cuddly” sort of person. I like and need a lot of personal space. All of us now have lots of time to pursue our own dreams. My daughter (12) is writing her first novel. My son (13) is using professional game software to design his first computer game. I am pursuing my home business dreams. This didn't happen overnight, however. I learned to take “snippets” of time here and there to pull this all together. Sometimes I took more time than I should have, sometimes I needed to take huge chunks of time for a period of time, and sometimes I didn't need to work on this at all.

The trick has been to work in seasons, moments, in a kind of rhythm. Not to force things, but to work within my boundaries, with my goals clearly in mind. It's wonderful to be able to pursue a healthy lifestyle that promotes lots of family time on one hand, and on the other have the time I need to pursue my own dreams. It's important, as moms, to continue to grow and develop who we are. I also discovered that if I'm not growing as a person, I have very little to offer my family other than restaurant, laundry, cleaning, and taxi services. I'm worth more than that, and so is my family.

Is that what you're looking for? Well, let me share some ideas.

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First of all, grab your “50 Ways to Defrazzle Your Dreams” Fridge Sheet Check out my articles: The Graceful Art of Defrazzling - for Mothers A Defrazzled New Year Defrazzle Your New Year's Resolutions Kaizen and the Art of New Year's Resolutions Check out the “Goal Setting” posts on my blog You can get some one-on-one mentoring with me in this area or even . . . Get a bunch of friends together and host a workshop or seminar! Check out my "Defrazzle Dreams Store" on Amazon for great books and products to help you start living the life you've always dreamed of. And, of course, there's my newsletter which will give you a tip or a giggle every 4 days! Some of those tips will be about achieving your dreams and setting goals.

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Little Tips

For those of you who just need a gentle nudge to keep up with your dreams, here are some quick ideas:

• Write all your dreams and goals down. If you write them down, you'll have a much better chance of achieving them.
• Create a dream poster. Get a large piece of poster board, and glue pictures and words on it that represent what you want to be, do and have in your life. Stick it up where you'll see it often.
• Create a dream book. Go into much greater detail in this book. Set up a timeline, steps, pictures, reasons for going for the goals, and anything else you can think of that will allow you to be more clearly focused on where you're going.
• Start with little steps. Ask yourself what you can do now, in your present situation to move towards your goal - even if it's an infinitesimally small step, any positive movement forward is a big motivator!

Want help keeping on track? Try this:

Here are some great articles, as well:

• Ten Goal Setting Strategies for Stress Relief
• Making Time for your Values and your Goals

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Middle Tips

You have an idea of what you want, but you're not sure how to get there.

• Start with the end in mind. Define exactly where you want to go.
• Set goals in ALL areas. Think of your family, your home, your children, your personal dreams, your future - think of your WHOLE life as you plan
• Work Backwards. Once you have the “end picture” clearly defined, as yourself, “What will happen just before this does?” and then write that down. Keep working backwards until you've worked back to your present place
• Create the plan. Now that you have all your steps in place, decide how to break down the first step into the smallest, most manageable steps possible. Schedule those steps into your calendar.
• Work the plan. Do each step diligently as it arrives.
• Get some mentoring. Let me work with you to set up a program just for you, to help you reach your dreams! Click here for details.

The BEST program I can recommend for this is the FREE course called “Simpleology” It has sure helped keep my ADD brain on track for accomplishing my own goals!

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“Oh My Goodness I Need Serious Help!” Tips

You don't even know what you want! No problem. Here are some tips for that, too.

• Find out what you're good at. Ask friends and family if you don't know yourself. Think about times where you felt very successful, appreciated, excited, and find out what it was about those times that made you feel great. Is it a particular hobby? A great skill that you possess? Was it a particular activity?
• Find out where you can use those skills. Who uses people with your skills/ talents/experience, etc?
• No dream is too big. Don't get sidetracked on this and decide that what you want is way too big and impossible. Once you settle on it, follow the steps in the “Middle Tips” section to move you towards it. If you didn't quite hit it when your life is over, you'll at least have gotten very close.
• No dream is too small. Your dreams don't have to be huge and audacious to be valid. Maybe all you can think of right now is being able to take a bubble bath once a week. Start wherever you are with whatever it is that you really want.
• Get some mentoring. Let me work with you to set up a program just for you, to help you reach your dreams! Click here for details.

Here's a great tool for narrowing your focus and helping you understand your real desires:

• The Passion Test.

Once you've worked all of this out, you need to stay on track. Here are some fun ways to do that:

• Subliminal Body Sculpting (This is not just for weight loss - you can program anything you like into it)

Here's another one that's similar, and also very effective:

• The Brain Bullet

Here are some great books for achieving your goals:

• What's a Mom to Do? Overcoming the Urge to Put Your Life on Hold
• The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
• The Power of Focus for Women: How to Live the Life You Really Want
• The Momstown Guide to Getting it All: A Life Makeover for Stay-at-Home Moms
• 8 Choices That Will Change a Woman's Life
• The Change Your Life Challenge: A 70-Day Life Makeover Program for Women
• Life Makeovers
• Experience the Ultimate Makeover: Discovering God's Transforming Power
• Hannah Keeley's Total Mom Makeover: The Six-Week Plan to Completely Transform Your Home, Health, Family, and Life

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Darlene Hull donates 10% of all her profits from the Mom-Defrazzler to Compassion Canada with the goal of being able to sponsor 30 children by the end of 2010. If you're interested in finding out more about Compassion Canada, please click on the button below: